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written by: Daniel Currie
editing and proofreading by: Jacasa Currie
Returning to my roots, I wanted to learn another random, fun, odd word. Google to the rescue again. I asked it to spit me back a random word. First word: Yankee. NOPE. Second try: Attachment. Eh, no. Third time a charm? Simp. YES! What the hell is simp exactly, and how does it pertain to teen mental health and relationships?
If you look it up, the classic definition of "SIMP" (Oxford Dictionary) is just "a silly or foolish person." But in today's slang, it refers to someone who goes overboard trying to impress, please, or win over someone—usually romantically—while getting nothing in return. Simping is often tied to self-esteem, a crucial factor in teen mental health.
The Reality of Simping in Teen Relationships
Let's be real: you probably know a simp.
Maybe it's the guy who throws his dignity out the window for a girl who barely acknowledges him. Perhaps it's the girl who bends over backward for a guy who puts in little to no effort.
Back in the late '90s, we didn't use the term simp, but I was the definition of one. Looking back, I now realize how deeply this affected my mental health as a teen.
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My Story: How I Became a Simp
I remember asking this gorgeous girl I had a crush on if she'd go out with me a week or two before Valentine's Day. A friend of hers told me she thought I was cute, and that tiny glimmer of hope was all I needed.
I had always secretly admired her. She was out of my league, or at least I thought so. That's why I never made a move—until now.
Nervously, I asked her out, my heart pounding and my palms sweating. Was this a setup? Was I about to be humiliated?
But then, the impossible happened.
She said YES.
From Cloud Nine to Cupid's Fool
For the next week leading up to Valentine's Day, I was the happiest guy on Earth—and the biggest simp.
I showered her with love notes, compliments, phone calls—anything to make her feel special. She held my hand in the hallway between classes. She even kissed me once or twice.
I was completely, hopelessly in love.
And I was completely, hopelessly blind.
Not even Cupid himself could bring me down. But Valentine's Day was about to change everything.
The Ultimate Simp Move
At the time, I was saving up for an authentic Brett Favre jersey (yes, I'm a lifelong Green Bay Packers fan!). But in my mind, this girl was worth far more than any green and gold jersey.
Like a fool, I took my hard-earned allowance and Christmas money and spent it all on her.
A Hallmark Valentine's card? Of course. A box of Belgium chocolates? Absolutely. A sterling silver necklace with a small heart pendant? No question.
When I gave her the gifts, her eyes widened with excitement. She hugged me. She kissed me.
Then she asked me to put the necklace on for her.
The Moment That Defined My Simping
As I clasped the necklace around her neck, I felt something I had never felt before: pure, unfiltered joy.
I was convinced.
This was love.
But I wasn't done.
I pulled out a dozen red roses—bought two days earlier to make sure they had them in stock.
Her reaction? Priceless.
She let out a high-pitched squeal, hugged me again, and whispered the three words I had been dying to hear:
"I love you."
In that moment, I felt on top of the world.
She told me later that night over the phone how she could see herself growing old with me. She promised she'd never leave me. She swore she loved me.
The Harsh Truth Hits Hard
The next morning, everything changed.
She met me at my locker, looking completely unfazed. Without hesitation, she said,
"I'm sorry, I don't think this relationship will work out. It's not you, it's me."
Then she turned and walked away.
I went from the highest high to the lowest low in mere seconds.
At 13 years old, I had no idea what hit me. It felt like my heart had been ripped out, stomped on, and thrown into a fire.
When the emotional dust settled, I finally realized:
I had been played.
Apparently, my now-ex had found out I had taken one of my girl-friends (not girlfriend) to the mall for Christmas shopping. She saw an opportunity.
She knew I was an easy target—a walking, talking simp—and she timed her sweet nothings perfectly.
Valentine's Day came, she got her expensive gifts, and the next morning, I was discarded like I meant nothing.
That day, I learned two hard truths:
Blind love makes you vulnerable.
Simping destroys self-respect.
And when your self-respect crumbles, your mental health follows.
Simping and Teen Mental Health: Why It Matters
Here are a few pointers to help your teen avoid the challenges I faced. Teen mental health is deeply connected to self-respect and emotional resilience. These insights aim to ensure your teen doesn't fall victim to manipulation or mistreatment simply for having strong feelings toward someone they care about or have a crush on.
Critically, the biggest issue with simp culture is that it teaches teens that it's acceptable to put themselves last. When teens neglect their own well-being in favor of impressing others, it can damage their self-esteem and mental health.
Studies show that teens with low self-worth are more likely to experience anxiety and depression.
So make sure your teen knows to ask themselves before they simp over someone:
Would they do the same for me?
Am I respecting myself?
Is this effort really worth my time?
If the answer is "NO," then stop. Because self-respect is always more attractive than simping.
10 Ways Simping Can Harm Teen Mental Health
You Lose Self-Respect
It Creates One-Sided Relationships
You Become Emotionally Drained
People Will Take Advantage of You
It Kills Your Confidence
You Push Away Potential Partners
It Delays Personal Growth
You Normalize Toxic Behavior
It Affects Friendships
You Deserve Better
FAQ: Simping & Teen Mental Health
Q: How does simping impact teen mental health?
A: Simping can severely damage self-esteem, increase anxiety, and lead to emotional exhaustion. When teens prioritize others over themselves, they often develop feelings of unworthiness and depression.
Q: Is caring about someone the same as simping?
A: No. Caring is mutual. Simping is one-sided. In a healthy relationship, both people put in effort. In simping, only one person does—and their mental health suffers as a result.
Q: What are the long-term effects of simping on mental health?
A: Chronic simping can lead to low self-esteem, codependency, and a pattern of toxic relationships. It can also contribute to anxiety and depression, especially if someone constantly feels unappreciated or used.
Q: How can teens stop simping and build confidence?
A: Teach them to:
Set healthy boundaries
Value self-respect over validation
Recognize red flags in relationships
Focus on self-improvement before seeking love.
Final Thoughts
Until the next time, remember teen mental health starts with self-respect. Don't simp. Stand tall.
Stay tuned! In Guiding Teenagers' next blog, written by Jacasa, she dives into today's brave new world of AI and its impacts on teens! You won't want to miss it!
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Originally Written on: March 24, 2025
References
Mayo Clinic - Teen mental health & self-esteem
Psychology Today - Unhealthy relationships & emotional dependence
National Institute of Mental Health - Self-worth & mental health
American Psychological Association - Effects of toxic relationships