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  • How to Date a Narcissist...Don't

    written by: Jacasa Currie Hi everyone! Welcome back to those who have read any of my previous blogs. Welcome to first time readers! If you’ve been with me, you may know my story about my previous experiences in life. If not, I encourage you click here to read one of my previous blog posts in which explains what happened to inspire this current blog post.   What is a narcissist? Anyways, let’s get back to it. So, what exactly is a narcissist? A narcissist is defined as a person who is overly self-involved; and often vain and selfish. I know this is kind of vague. To get a better understanding I will go over what behaviors and signs will be displayed if you come across someone who may be a narcissist.     Signs of Narcissism - lack of empathy - need for admiration - willingness to exploit others - entitlement - not taking responsibility for own actions, instead always putting blame on others - refusing to admit to being wrong, even if they are presented with evidence that they are indeed wrong - downplaying other’s accomplishments - boasting about their accomplishments - unwarranted jealousy - turning every conversation into a conversation about themselves - asking for favors/help but not reciprocating when asked to give it - guilt tripping - difficulty working in team settings (ex: work/school groups) – refusal to listen to other’s ideas, dismissing other’s suggestions, insisting on doing most of work themselves - believing they deserve special treatment - overly critical of others   From this list it may seem as though it would be super easy to identify a narcissist. However, sometimes the signs are so subtle or stay hidden for a portion of time. In my own experience, I found that my ex-husband was very good at hiding it in the beginning. He did everything “right” until he convinced me that it would be a great idea to get married. He also made me feel like I wanted it and so I played along with the idea of getting married so early into a relationship. I also was 19, which means it was one of those typical “young and dumb” situations. He constantly showered me with compliments, attention, and gifts. After a high school relationship that had really broke my heart, I was so pleased to have found someone whom I thought truly loved me again. Of course, I also was graduated from high school, of course in college, but still I felt I was an adult and therefore it was a valid decision. Once we did get married, he instantly showed his true colors; it was all downhill from there.   Red Flags are like Stop Signs…STOP! We all know those things called red flags. It is super important not to ignore those red flags no matter how late in a friendship/relationship they show up. They are called red flags for a reason, red means stop. Now not every red flag is worthy of ending that friendship/relationship. Some are ones that may be resolved, but others, especially if there are multiple, are end worthy.   Step One to Address a Red Flag The first thing you should do if you come across a red flag is confide in someone about it, or even journal about it if you don’t feel comfortable telling someone. By telling someone else, they will be able to help you discern whether or not there is a real problem or whether it is just something that you are overreacting about. Sometimes we can look too much into things so that outside viewpoint helps to sort that out. The reason a journal is also a good option is because you can look back and see if that red flag is still occurring or whether it has resolved. You could also use a combination of both options.   Step Two to Address a Red Flag If you are bold enough you can skip the first mentioned step and skip right to this one. If not, the next step is to talk directly to your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. Simply say something like; “Hey, I really didn’t appreciate when you did this, it really hurt.”, or “I noticed that you do this/say this and I really would appreciate if you would stop.” This lets the person know what it is that they could be doing that they might not be aware they are doing. If they truly care about you, they will be willing to discuss why they do this, apologize, and either stop, or work on whatever it is that they need to in order to fix it. Narcissists are Master Manipulators If the person is a narcissist, they will somehow turn the problem back into something you did or blame you for the reason they do that. They will not sincerely apologize and certainly will not change their behaviors. Sometimes when blaming you, they can be a master at making you feel bad that you would even think that way. If this happens and you come across this type of response, it is vital that you do not ignore this behavior. This is no longer a red flag but a narcissist flag. I encourage you to get out of that situation as soon as possible. It is less important to end a friendship over this depending on the severity of the issue you are presenting the person with. But in an intimate relationship, it is 100% leave worthy. I can promise you that it will get worse over time.   Settling isn’t Worth Your Happiness You might be wondering why do people ignore red flags, or maybe why you yourself ignore red flags? Well, the answer is simple, we all just want to be loved. I know that in the past I ignored them because I thought well everything else is good, I can deal with this one thing I don’t like. But it is more than just something that you don’t like, it is a warning. Simply put, we settle for less than we deserve in order to find a life partner. Most of us are looking for someone to spend our lives with, maybe have a family with. Dating can be exhausting. Especially the older you get and the closer you get to that feeling that you are truly ready to settle down. We start to accept more and more wrongs in a relationship because it can feel like that window of time is closing on us.   The truth is, there is no set time to do things in life. We often look at others’ lives and want what they have. Sometimes that can be a successful marriage, children, even successful careers. Is it true that there is an average time in one’s life that those things happen, yes. However, everyone is different. Life is not a race. The more you try to quicken the process the more you will be willing to deal with in order to get there. At the end of the day, you end up deep down knowing you are unhappy, but at least you have someone. Now, what if you could have more? What if I told you the wait and pain of seeing others “succeed” before you will be worth it in the end? Well, I am here to tell you that it is.   We all only live this life once. We get one shot to make this life the best it can be. Well, when you look back on your life, are you going to be able to say that you were truly happy? That you were able to feel alive rather than just living? If the answer is no, then you should take a deeper look into why that is and start making changes. These changes might be extremely difficult, but the end result is your own happiness and living a fulfilling life!   How to Leave a Narcissist: Friendship If you are at the point where you realize that you need to end a friendship/relationship due to their narcissism, there are a few ways to do so. If the relationship is a friendship, there are two options. Option one: slowly distance yourself over time until you completely stop communicating. Option two: have a conversation with said person about why you need to take a step back from the friendship. I should warn you that this conversation will more than likely not be an easy conversation. The person will more than likely blame everything on you and make you feel guilty. But stand your ground and stand by your decision. You can even offer an opportunity for redemption in the future but be stern on a break from friendship for the current moment.   How to Leave a Narcissist: Intimate Relationship If the relationship is an intimate relationship, this can become trickier as there are more complex feelings involved in an intimate relationship. My best advice is to just rip the Band-Aid off. There isn’t going to be any easy way to go about it. Of course this should be something talked about in person, unless there is a special circumstance that makes this a bad option. For example, an abusive partner, or the conversation happening to come up in text and there is no way around it.   The best place to have this conversation is in a public place. This ensures that you can just leave if you need to and that their behavior is limited to the societal norms of behavior in a public space. Of course, there is that possibility that they still could display explosive behavior, but your chances of this are certainly lower in a public space. Always try to stay as calm as possible in the conversation, as hard as that may be. If the person starts to become explosive, the best thing to do is to physically walk away. You can even tell them that you understand why they are upset but that you need to walk away from the situation to give them the space to process. This shows that you are empathetic and also confirming that it truly is over by letting them know they should also leave to process things.   If after the conversation the person reaches out to you, which they more than likely will, you have a few choices here. You can remind them that your decision is final and that you are sorry they are hurting. You can also choose to block them. A narcissist will beg for you but also when they do not get their way will try their best to knock you down. Sometimes it is best just to block them so that you can sever the ties completely and try to heal.   How to Start the Conversation My suggestion is to point out to them that you have been unhappy and why you are unhappy. That after waiting for change, you’ve realized that they are not willing to make the changes in the relationship needed for you to stay. Therefore, you have decided that it is best to break things off. You can also throw in that this may not be what they think is best, but that you know it is what is best for yourself. Be very specific in your reasoning for why you are leaving. This can help you remind yourself mid conversation that you are indeed doing the right thing. This also brings things to their attention with the hope that they can fix this for when they choose to try again in a new relationship.   Leaving a Narcissist: My Experience My ex-husband was excellent at making me feel trapped. His manipulation tactic, as many of you know who have read previously, was threatening suicide. He used guilt to make me stay. I cannot count on my two hands the number of times I tried to leave. But a few things kept me from doing so. Of course, he would either swallow pills right in front of me, or simply just threaten that he would kill himself if I left. One specific time that I tried to leave he opened our apartment door, and said “Leave if you want to the door is open. But know that if you do, I will take my car and run it at full speed into a tree, or just straight off a cliff.” I felt so conflicted. If I followed through with leaving, there was that chance that he would do it, he already had tried to commit suicide in front of me. In that instance I would feel as though his blood was on my hands. But there was a chance that he was just saying anything he could to get me to stay. I was not willing to take that chance then.   I was never strong enough to walk away from him myself. Because when you are with someone who is mentally/physically abusive, something within you changes. You start to believe the things they say, you start to believe that this is all you deserve. You are stuck in this loop of wanting to leave but being convinced you can’t so therefore you just sort of settle.   The last time he ended things with me. He claimed that I was too back and forth for him and that he couldn’t handle me anymore. I came to realize years later that this was not true and that if I was this way, it was because of the time spent being toyed with. Anyways, he said he wanted a divorce for good. I was flabbergasted. In my head, things had been fine, we hadn’t been fighting as much and we were, I thought, overall happy. But clearly, I was wrong. So, after about a week, I left Ohio for the last time back to New York. I was so distraught that I had to have my parents meet me halfway. I will never forget what my mom told me later about how I looked. She said it looked as though I hadn’t slept in a very long time, and that if she didn’t know me better, she would think I was on drugs. I was unable to hold a conversation, unable to focus. My hair was matted where my hair extensions has grown out and I had stopped brushing my hair. I was a total mess. It did not take long for him to try to get me back. Less than a week later. He had texted me telling me how sorry he was and that he wanted me back. I had to fight hard to not give in. But I stood by that I was not going to go back. I knew that this cycle would be a never ending one and that I couldn’t do it anymore. Because he could pretty readily always get me back in the past, his tone changed almost immediately once I denied him that chance. He actually at one point told me that he wished I was aborted. Which if you know of my birth story, you will understand why this comment would cut like a knife. He also proceeded to tell me that no one will ever love me because I am too crazy. That comment still sticks with me to this day and I still feel scared of this possibility.   So how did I get through it? I also had to deal with a divorce. This meant that I couldn’t exactly block him because I had to push him to keep things going. He dragged his feet for about a year, until finally it was all over. But throughout that whole time, he still tried, over and over. I confided in my family and friends on what had truly been happening behind closed doors. It feels shameful to talk about. But I did it. Once it all came out, those around me were extremely supportive of me and helped me to stay strong and not give up on myself. Along with leaning on others, I also printed out words of encouragement and taped them to the walls of my bedroom and read them daily, sometimes multiple times a day. They had said things like; you deserve better, you don’t need him, you can do this, etc.   My Hope for You I hope that if you are in a relationship with a narcissist that nothing ever goes how things went for me. But the reason I rambled on about what happened to me, is to show a glimpse of how life could be for you if you choose to stay. Obviously, everyone is different, and you could have a much easier experience with someone, and your relationship may seem okay. But it will get worse over time. That is why it is imperative to leave as soon as possible. Do not ignore the red flags. The consequences of staying can be catastrophic. Change can be scary, especially if a divorce or children are involved. But it is important to remember that simple fact that we only live this life once. I want you to be able to look back on your life when your time on this earth is coming to an end and say you know what, I lived a good life filled with happiness. Life will always have its challenges but your partner in this life should not be one. Of course, every relationship has its ups and downs, but it should ultimately bring you happiness.   Life After Being with a Narcissist If you have been with a narcissist, especially for an extended period of time, I am not going to sugar coat things. Life won’t be easy. You will have to relearn how to love and accept love. Your views will change on love. Trust will not come easy. You may also find that you feel you do not want anyone for the fear you will go through another disaster. Know that it is okay to take your time. Process all that happened. If you are having a hard time processing, please consider therapy. It is not a sign of weakness to need help. We all need help sometimes. And it is also okay if you want to just move on with your life and find someone new. That first relationship after the narcissist will be the hardest one. But know that it will get better if you work at it. The right person will understand and help you navigate how you are feeling.   Overall, do not settle for less than you deserve. If it doesn’t make you overall happy, it’s time to either attempt to bring the issue to attention and fix it or leave. After my ex-husband, it took me years before I felt I even wanted to get married again. I used to be convinced that I would never marry again because I did not want to ever be trapped again. However, through therapy I was able to sort through my feelings and realize that I cannot compare everyone to him. Every person is their own person. I eventually realized that I do want to get married again someday. I am aware that the idea of marriage is becoming more and more less important. But to me, marriage is a sacred bond. Someone who is there for you throughout all life throws at you. I also still believe that marriage should mean forever. I came to realize that I do want marriage, children (which I have always wanted and never wavered from wanting), and to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.   A light at the End of the Tunnel Although I have been through so much in those times with my ex-husband. I have healed from it. Do I still have flashbacks sometimes? Of course. But overall, I have healed. With each relationship that I had post marriage, I was able to learn more about myself and what I am looking for. I even got to a point where I was engaged. It was a hard decision to end that engagement, but I am proud of myself for not ignoring my unhappiness and not choosing to settle for less than I deserve.   As most know, I am in a new relationship. This relationship is one that I feel confident is my last one. I truly feel as though I have found my soulmate. We actually communicate, both of us! If we ever have any issues that arise, we bring it to the other person’s attention and talk about it. After every little spat, we may have we always talk about it and grow from it. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company. We spend every moment we can together and as we have both been through horrible relationships, we can relate and understand when the other has a thought process that was formed from those past relationships. We are able to be there for each other and rely on each other. Most importantly, we love each other. It is obvious on both sides that it is genuine. That feeling of my feelings being 100% reciprocated and my efforts being 100% reciprocated is so foreign to me. It feels amazing.   Now instead of wondering if I am truly loved, having doubts, or being put down, I am cherished and loved for all parts of me, even the ugly ones. While reading books, listening to songs, or watching movies and shows that are about romance, you always think oh that kind of love does not really exist. Well, I can tell you that it does. Those books, songs, movies and shows were not created from nothing. I no longer open doors when we are together. Some may not appreciate this, but I do. He has me wait in the car while he comes around to open it for me. Every single time I go to work or am at college long enough to need a meal he makes my lunch, EVERY SINGLE TIME. In every lunch is also a post-it with a little love note for me. He writes me love letters, leaves love notes in my college notebooks, planners, and sometimes around the house to find when I come home from a long day. He is always reminding me how beautiful he thinks I am inside and out. We have date night every single Friday even if it is just staying in to watch movies and order take out pizza. The day after Thanksgiving it was time for me to decorate the house for Christmas. When the time came to put up the tree he was excited to do this with me along with listen to Christmas music in the process. And when we finished, he offered his hand to me to slow dance to the song “Halleluiah” when that came on. No longer am I expected to take care of everything around the house. He steps up and takes care of so much housework, virtually all of it actually. His reasoning is because he sees how hard I work between actual work and college and wants me to be able to focus on my studies. I could go on and on about the things he does for me, but that is not the point here.   The Point The point of that long ramble is to never give up looking for happiness. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Each person we come across is put in our lives for a reason, whether to stay and teach us how to be happy, or to teach us something about ourselves. If you are someone who has been with a narcissist, or have been in an abusive relationship, then let my story be hope that you too can find happiness. Don’t ever give up on yourself. Even if you choose that you would rather just go through life without being in another relationship do that. Do whatever it is that brings you happiness.   If you are someone who is currently with a narcissist. Please do yourself a favor and get out. I know it can be extremely hard to leave, but trust me, it is so worth it in the end. Stick with your decision and fight for yourself. No matter what happens, you can get through anything you put your mind to. I believe in you. And if you need extra help, I am always here for people who need someone to talk to. Or you can always get into therapy. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge advocate for therapy. I wouldn’t be here without it.   In Conclusion I know this was a very long read. I hope that you all made it this far. If you have, thank you so much for reading. If you chose not to continue well then, I guess you won’t see this. But, as always, I hope that my story and my advice can help at least one person who may be out there struggling. Life really knows how to kick you when you’re down sometimes. I hope I can be part of what helps to pick you back up, dust off the dirt and keep fighting. You are worth it! I will see you in the next blog post! - Jacasa Currie - Blooming Thoughts Blog Suicide Prevention Hotline 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Call 988 or Text 988 Or Visit: https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox   Domestic Violence Hotline Call 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788 Or Visit: https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence View this post over at Blooming Thoughts from Blogspot Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: December 9, 2024

  • Special Edition Annual Year-end Update: State of the GuidingTeenagers Message 2024

    written by: Daniel Currie editing and proofreading by: Jacasa Currie First, we would like to thank our loyal readers who have continued supporting Guiding Teenagers. We thank you whether you are a new reader, have been here since the beginning, or are somewhere in between. You are all so valuable to us, and we appreciate all of you. We are reaching out in Special Edition Blog to catch you up to speed since our last blog a few months back. Consider this GuidingTennager's State of the Union Message from us to our faithful readers and listeners. In this article, we'll discuss why we've been dark for the past four months and what is to come for GuidingTeenagers. That said, sit down, strap in, and get ready because here we go! Table of Contents ► GT Went Dark? ► Piercing The Veil ► Road to Recovery ► Looking Forward ► The Announcement ► State of The GuidingTeenagers Message: Conclusion GT Went Dark? In July and August 2024, unforeseen, unavoidable issues that greatly affected GuidingTeenagers began to surface. Certain aspects of our personal lives have begun changing drastically, significant to us and how we handle the website. This directly impacted the site and our ability to provide the quality information and attention to detail that you've come to expect in our GuidingTeenagers Blogs and Mashups. Many roadblocks caused us to step away from laptops and computers for a hot minute until we took care of ourselves and our families. These matters were enough for us to take a step back and reflect to ensure we were practicing what we preached. For example, we never thought we would find ourselves in certain situations, such as divorce. Piercing The Veil As extraneous as that can be on a family, teenagers, and many others, for our teens to have the best outcome and success, sometimes the parents need to step away after exhausting all avenues and be humble in admitting it is no longer healthy for each other—especially exposing teens to toxicity constantly. Additionally, when parents are no longer getting along, and there is no resolution in sight, even after genuinely trying and using all available resources, it is time to consider the devastating possibility that it wasn't meant to be. It is never a healthy environment when children or teens of any age witness arguments and observe no resolve between their parents. That being said, over time, it can become a toxic environment in which it is best for everybody that a divorce be the best course of action when there is no good alternative. When a relationship reaches that point, it is one of the few great anomalies where it may be necessary to separate for the benefit of everyone. By doing this, being humble, and perhaps even admitting defeat, everyone involved can continue their neverending pursuit of love, happiness, and inner peace. We allowed closure and forward-thinking by permitting one chapter of our lives to close so another, happier, less stress-filled chapter could begin. Road to Recovery Under no circumstance should a divorce or separation be considered unless absolutely necessary, and the benefits of separation are greater for all family members, not just the parents. Unfortunately, this was the case, and we have all begun moving on with our road to recovery. Moving on is not without its difficulties and monumental challenges. Everything from a simple daily routine to new towns, workforces, schools, and living arrangements gets jostled. Naturally, that is highly stressful and a tough transition mentally, emotionally, and physically for anyone. Hence, the decision to move forward with a divorce or separation should not be taken lightly; the consequences are devastating. Family dynamics change as well, sometimes for the good but many times for the bad, as bonds between the family break, new people come in, connections change, and the future feels very uncertain. This can be traumatic for children and teens, making it vital for the parents to handle their issues as civilly as possible and critically keep the children and teens out of their problems. Looking Forward With all of that said, there have been many reasons for a brief hiatus, but, as stated earlier, we wanted to ensure we practiced what we preached. We must reflect and contemplate our stance because of our strong moral values regarding this brand, GuidingTeenagers. Now it's time to look forward and reveal GuidingTeenagers' future. The last few blogs posted were back in mid-summer, and as most of you know, we welcomed Jacasa from Blooming Thoughts aboard. She has been a great addition to our team, offering a different, positive perspective with a wealth of knowledge and education to back it. Although Jacasa does not have children of her own, she has a wealth of experience working with children as a teacher's aide and various field experiences during college. Additionally, she is three semesters away from her bachelor's degree in childhood education, with the ambition and dream of becoming an elementary teacher. Her education and first-hand experience grant her the expertise she uses to write blogs for both us and her personal blog, Blooming Thoughts . As mentioned, this is a State of the GT Message. What good is a State of the Union-type message without an announcement? This directly affects our blog, so we felt it important to tell you all. Writing this blog has allowed us to get to know each other in ways we never imagined. Although this may be hard to understand for some readers who have been with us since Jacasa's debut (and even before), we cannot go any longer without this coming to your attention. The Announcement Going forward, both of us will still be running GuidingTeenagers; nothing is changing in that regard. The key difference is that we are no longer co-bloggers writing in parallel but now as a blogging couple with a strong sense of duty and passion in raising teens. Overall, it will not change much for most of you personally, and you may not notice anything different. Jacasa, known for her blogs at Blooming Thoughts , and Dan, known for his blogs on this site and formerly CurlyStache Blogs, originally joined forces as guest bloggers for each other's blogs. We discovered our morals and outlooks on life aligned perfectly and began working more closely. We then found it best to become business partners, running GuidingTeenagers in tandem. We continued to work closely and found we were becoming more than business partners. Our philosophies, ethics, passions, and beliefs were unmistakably in sync. This led us to explore what else there could be besides blogging, one of the many hobbies that we share. With that, we took a leap of faith and began a journey together as a couple, embracing life as one. For some of our readers who know us personally, we understand the difficulty of the change. We only ask for your respect in our decision, which has brought us great peace and happiness. State of The GuidingTeenagers Message: Conclusion We look forward to this new chapter in our lives together, continuing to build and contribute to the GuidingTeenagers community with your help! We look forward to a new season, Season 5, officially in January 2025. We will kick off an all-new season filled with exciting content and podcasts, including full-length blogs, our hit Mashups, and a few series blogs. Stay tuned for the latest! Subscribe for email notifications on our newest blog posts. Follow us on Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, and Instagram for the latest news, memes, Dad jokes, and, of course, when we drop our newest blogs! See you all next month! Truly, Dan & Jacasa Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: December 9, 2024

  • Supporting Gay Teens: A Guide for Parents — Part I of a 2-Part Series

    written by: Daniel Currie editing, proofreading, and accuracy reviewed by: Jacasa Currie Supporting Gay Teens, Part I of the Series: In honor of Pride Month, we are dedicating a special two-part series to support teens who are gay or feel trapped in their own bodies. In this part, we will focus on acceptance. It can be challenging to understand and support a teenager's "decision" to be gay, especially if you come from a more traditional upbringing. It's important to note that the word "decision" is in quotes because when your teen is honest about their desires and emotions, it isn't a decision but their raw, natural, inherent feelings. Let's dive a little deeper, shall we? Table of Contents ► Drawing Parallels: Uncontrollable Feelings ● Understand: Uncontrollable ● Understand: The Teen's Core ● Empathy and Support ► The Social Teen Impact: Embracing Same-Sex Attraction       ● Fear of Social Rejection       ● Worrying About the Future ► Building a Positive Home Environment       ● Open and Honest Communication       ● Inclusive Family Activities       ● Professional Support ► Conclusion Drawing Parallels: Uncontrollable Feelings In approaching our teen's feelings for the same sex, regardless of how we feel, we should always keep an open mind for their sake. An excellent way to help with this is by drawing parallels to other uncontrollable conditions like ADHD, stress, anxiety, and depression. These conditions, much like sexual orientation, cannot simply be controlled or changed at will. Let's explore this a bit more. Understand: Uncontrollable Just as someone who suffers from ADHD, stress, anxiety, or depression didn't ask for their condition and can't easily change it, our teen's sexual orientation is no different. It is not something they can control. It's an inherent part of who they are, not a choice. Understand: The Teen's Core Once we come to grips, understand, and accept the fact that being gay isn't just a life choice but a way of life —whether they want it or not—it will help us understand our teens better. Like a child with ADHD can't will themselves to focus, a gay teen can't change their orientation. This is who they are at their core; their raw, exposed, vulnerable, humble selves. Empathy and Support We should be proud and encourage our teens to wear their hearts on their sleeve, unafraid, courageous, and bold to be themselves in an uncertain world. When we see our teens waging war internally with their feelings, confused and scared, the best thing we can do for them is to be there for them and provide the support they need. Empathy and support will go a long way. The Social Teen Impact: Embracing Same-Sex Attraction As parents, it's natural to have concerns and fears when your teen comes out of the closet. Addressing these concerns openly and honestly can help forge understanding and build a stronger, supportive relationship. Fear of Social Rejection The most common concern is the fear of social rejection and discrimination when identifying as a gay individual. As a parent of a teen belonging to the gay community, worrying about their child's safety and well-being in an uncertain society can be utterly terrifying. There are ways to combat this unnerving and validated fear: Educate yourself and your teen about their rights and available resources. Encourage your teen to build a support network of friends and fellow members of the gay/LGBTQ+ community who understand and accept them. Create a strong foundation for your teen at home, helping them confidently navigate potential challenges. Worrying About the Future Parents often worry about their teen's future, fearing that the label of being gay might limit their opportunities or happiness. It's crucial to remember that being gay does not define your teen's potential for success or joy; how we respond to their orientation may. With the right guidance, support, and direction, our teens can lead fulfilling, successful lives. Focus on nurturing and enabling your teen's strengths and passions. Encourage them to pursue their dreams without fear and with confidence. By supporting your teen's ambitions and affirming their worth, you provide them with a platform to build a positive and resilient self-image. Building a Positive Home Environment Creating a loving and accepting home environment is critical for your teen's emotional health. Let's discuss some practical steps to ensure your home is a safe haven for your teen. Open and Honest Communication If you've ever read any of our Guiding Teenagers blogs, you know open, honest communication is key . Maintain and encourage open lines of communication with your teen. Urge them to express their thoughts openly and wholeheartedly without fear of judgment. Let them know that their opinions and experiences are valued and respected. By welcoming an atmosphere of openness, you can help your teen feel more safe, comfortable, and supported by the closest people in their lives—YOU! Inclusive Family Activities Engage in family activities that promote inclusivity and acceptance. Participate in events celebrating diversity, such as Pride parades or community gatherings. It's crucial to remember that this is for your teen. Being involved will mean more than you could imagine, reinforcing your teen's sense of belonging and demonstrating your commitment to their well-being. Professional Support There are times when seeking professional support can benefit both parents and teens. It shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mind, but consider connecting with a counselor or therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues when challenges arise. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights and coping strategies for navigating this journey together. Therapy can also offer a safe space for your teen to express and explore their feelings, helping them gain confidence within their own skin. Conclusion Supporting a gay teen in a traditional family setting can be challenging but deeply rewarding. In honor of Pride Month, we focus on fostering understanding, acceptance, and love. By recognizing that sexual orientation, like other uncontrollable conditions, is inherent and not a choice, we can empathize with our teens. Address concerns about social rejection and the future by educating yourself, building a strong support network, and encouraging your teen to pursue their passions. Creating a loving home environment, maintaining open communication, engaging in activities together, and seeking professional support when needed are key. Acceptance and love are the most powerful tools to help your teen navigate their journey confidently and joyfully. Stick around for Part II, written by our newest member of the Guiding Teenagers crew, next Wednesday! Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: June 19, 2024 References Innerbody - Online Therapy Guide for LGBTQ+ https://www.innerbody.com/online-therapy-guide-for-lgbtq-youth PFLAG - Parents: Quick Tips for Supporting Your LGBTQ Kids-and YOURSELF-During the Coming-Out Process https://pflag.org/resource/parents-comingout/ The Trevor Project - LGBTQ+ Community Resources https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/category/community/ APA - Understanding sexual orientation and homosexuality https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/orientation

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    New at Guiding Teenagers Featured GT Blog Trending Blogs Behavior & Mental Health Understanding Attachment Theory: How to Achieve Successful Attachment Explore "Attachment Theory" and learn how to foster secure, healthy relationships from childhood through adulthood. Understand and achieve successful attachment. Listen to the Podcast! A Must Read Edition Personal Blog Blooming Thoughts: Passion viewed through the eyes of Jacasa Discover Jacasa's journey from her Blooming Thoughts Blog to her endeavor here. Dive into her passions and experiences that shape her unique story. Join her journey! Listen to the Podcast! Peer Through Her Eyes! Special Edition: State of the GuidingTeenagers Message 2024 Catch up on the State of the GuidingTeenagers Message! Questions from 2024 answered! Big changes, heartfelt updates, and exciting plans await. Don't miss this! Written By : Published On : Blog Focus : Read Time : 12/9/2024 Daniel Currie Special Edition Blog 5 Minutes Access the Blog Instantly Support From : Jacasa Currie Listen to the Podcast NOW! Relativity Rating: General Audience Learn how the Guiding Teenagers' rating system works! Learn the System! Bite-Sized Reads aka "Mashups" Transform Your Teen Parenting in Under 4 Minutes – Read Now! With stories, opinions, trivia, exercises, and bold facts these bite-sized blogs educate and entertain! Bite-Sized Episode 019 The Translucent Parent: The Perfect Balance PODCAST! Discover how translucent parenting balances guidance and freedom, helping teens grow independently while knowing their parents are always there for support. Listen Now! Find the Goldilocks Zone! Bite-Sized Episode 018 The Dangers of Vaping in Middle School: A Father's Guide PODCAST! Discover the real dangers of vaping in middle school from a father's perspective. Learn how to address this issue with your child with empathy and authority. Listen Now! Essential For Any Parent! Bite-Size Episode 017 The LAST Mashup | Guiding Teenagers is on Spring Break PODCAST! Dive into 'The LAST Mashup' before we take spring break. Exciting updates, a new season of Guiding Teenagers, and much more are on the horizon. Stay tuned! Listen Now! Learn Our Destination!

  • Explore All Our Parenting Blogs and More | Guiding Teenagers

    Guiding Teenagers Blogs At GT, we're here to be your steadfast partner in parenting teens, offering strong support and wise advice to help you thrive in our ever-changing world. Trust us to provide the tools you need to guide your young adults towards growth and resilience, no matter what life throws your way, with our vast library! Blog Search Looking for something specific? Search here! 1 2 3 4 5 1 ... 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 6 Special Edition: State of the GuidingTeenagers Message 2024 Catch up on the State of the GuidingTeenagers Message! Questions from 2024 answered! Big changes, heartfelt updates, and exciting plans await. Don't miss this! Published: 12/9/2024 Category: Special Edition Blog Estimated Time: 5 Minutes Relativity Rating: General Audience Read Blog Understanding Attachment Theory: How to Achieve Successful Attachment Explore "Attachment Theory" and learn how to foster secure, healthy relationships from childhood through adulthood. Understand and achieve successful attachment. Published: 7/10/2024 Category: Behavior & Mental Health Estimated Time: 4 Minutes Relativity Rating: Focused on Tweens & Kids Read Blog The Translucent Parent: The Perfect Balance Discover how translucent parenting balances guidance and freedom, helping teens grow independently while knowing their parents are always there for support. Published: 7/6/2024 Category: Bite-Sized Read Estimated Time: Under 4 Minutes Relativity Rating: Adolescence Read Blog Blooming Thoughts: Passion viewed through the eyes of Jacasa Discover Jacasa's journey from her Blooming Thoughts Blog to her endeavor here. Dive into her passions and experiences that shape her unique story. Join her journey! Published: 7/3/2024 Category: Personal Blog Estimated Time: 7 Minutes Relativity Rating: Everybody Read Blog Part 2: LGBTQ+ Acceptance: A Teen's Guide to Acceptance and Rejection Explore LGBTQ+ acceptance through the eyes of a lesbian teen. Discover her journey with acceptance and rejection, and learn from her personal experiences. Published: 6/26/2024 Category: Hormones, Puberty, and Sexuality Estimated Time: 7 Minutes Relativity Rating: Teen/Tween Transition Through Age 20 Read Blog Supporting Gay Teens: Guide for Parents - Part 1 of a 2 Part Series! In honor of Pride Month, learn how to support and accept your gay teen with empathy and love—it's a surefire guide for your family in navigating this journey. Published: 6/19/2024 Category: Hormones, Puberty, and Sexuality Estimated Time: 5 Minutes Relativity Rating: Teen/Tween Transition Through Age 20 Read Blog The Dangers of Vaping in Middle School: A Father's Guide Discover the real dangers of vaping in middle school from a father's perspective. Learn how to address this issue with your child with empathy and authority. Published: 6/12/2024 Category: Drugs, Alcohol, Tobacco Estimated Time: Under 3 Minutes Relativity Rating: Middle School, Early/Mid High-School Read Blog Effective Screen Time Management for Teens Discover tips and strategies for managing teen screen time effectively, promoting a balanced lifestyle, and reducing friction in your family. Learn more now! Published: 5/29/2024 Category: Internet & Social Media Estimated Time: 5 Minutes Relativity Rating: Middle School, Early/Mid High-School, Kids Read Blog Crafting Success: A Teen Innovator's Guide to Entrepreneurship Special Guest post from singledadworld.com! Essential strategies for teens turning passion into successful businesses. A must-read guide for young entrepreneurs. Published: 6/5/2024 Category: Teen Business & Workforce Estimated Time: 4 Minutes Relativity Rating: Teen/Tween Transition Through Age 20 Read Blog Father's Day 2024: Traditions, Gifts & Unique Celebration Ideas Celebrate Father's Day 2024 with unique gift ideas, heartwarming traditions, and creative celebrations. Make this Father's Day unforgettable! Published: 5/20/2024 Category: Special Edition Blog Estimated Time: 4 Minutes Relativity Rating: Everybody Read Blog Mother's Day 2024: Traditions, Gifts & Creative Celebration Ideas Celebrate Mother's Day 2024 with creative gift ideas, thoughtful traditions, and a guide to top trends. Make this Mother's Day extra special! Published: 5/12/2024 Category: Special Edition Blog Estimated Time: 3 Minutes Relativity Rating: Everybody Read Blog Sibling Issues and its Effects: A Tense Tale of Family Dynamics Uncover the dark side of sibling issues: A fierce rivalry pushes limits and leads to an emergency room visit with serious consequences. Published: 4/14/2024 Category: Personal Blog Estimated Time: 5 Minutes Relativity Rating: Everybody Under 20 Read Blog 1 2 3 4 5 1 ... 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 6 Take me Home! Back to the Top

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